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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating | ||||||
1. | A guy rings his boss and says "I can | Jokes Rating: |
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A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 48 |  | |||
2. | No one in this town could catch any fish except .. | Jokes Rating: |
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No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man The game warden asked him how he did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day... Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 1 | | |||
3. | It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out .. | Jokes Rating: |
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It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 7 | | |||
4. | "What | Jokes Rating: |
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"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?" "That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 26 | | |||
5. | Q. Why are fish so smart? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools! | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 35 | | |||
6. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Rating: |
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Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | | |||
7. | Q. Where does a fish keep his money? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank! | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 37 | | |||
8. | An Irish priest loved to fly fish..... | Jokes Rating: |
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An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work. The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it. With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon. Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson." God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 40 | | |||
9. | I was glad when one fish got away... | Jokes Rating: |
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I was glad when one fish got away. There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us! | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 52 | | |||
10. | Liar, liar | Jokes Rating: |
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A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long. The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit." The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that." Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern." | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 68 | | |||
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