The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet !
Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by most recent jokes
A local fisherman returning from a fishing trip with 6 large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yer!" replied our stalwart. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Nosey asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and our man replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with but of my rod!" Needless to say there were no more questions.
16th May 2004
There were these two men fishing. one was ...
There were two men fishing on the river one day. One was catching all these fish and the other wasn't catching anything.
The man not catching any fish walked over and asked what the other guy was using for bait.
The fisherman reeled in his bait and said "river otter."
22nd Mar 2004
What do fish and women have in common?
They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them !
20th Mar 2004
A blonde decides to go fishing....
A blonde decides to go fishing.
She stopped fishing when she caught a huge one. She was already too tired to carry it.
12th Feb 2004
This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.
An Inspector steps out of the bushes, "Ahha!" he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled "Shiiiit!". The Inspector, who wasn't expecting such a response said "Settle down, I'm the Fishing Inspector". "Thank God for that" said the fisherman, "I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap".
10th Dec 2003
Two fishermen were talking about the good old days....
One says, "when I was a kid there were so many fish here I could always catch a few."
The other says, "when I was a kid here we used a horse and cart and got enough fish to sell at the market."
"How did you do that then?"
"Well, we had this good old horse and we used to back the cart down into the water and put treacle on his tail. The flies got stuck in the treacle and when the fish jumped out of the water for the flies that good old horse just kicked them into the cart. We had a load of fish in no time!"
20th Nov 2003
What is the fastest fish in the water?
Q. What is the fastest fish in the water?
A. A motopike
20th Nov 2003
A relaxed view of life.....
I only fish on dem derre days that ind wit -day.
19th Nov 2003
A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles.
He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?"
The man replied "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that."
The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish."
With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us".
7th Nov 2003
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. ...
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7th Nov 2003
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