The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
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1. | A blonde decides to go fishing.... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A blonde decides to go fishing.
She stopped fishing when she caught a huge one. She was already too tired to carry it. |
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| Anymous | 12th Feb 2004 | JokesID: 84 |  |
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2. | No one in this town could catch any fish except .. | Jokes Rating: |    
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| No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man
The game warden asked him how he did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day...
Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish.
The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk?" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 1 |  |
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3. | "What | Jokes Rating: |    
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| "What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"
"That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."
"That's not so big!"
"Between the eyes?" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 26 |  |
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4. | Q. Why are fish so smart? | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools! |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 35 |  |
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5. | A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH"
"What fish?" the man asked. |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 29 |  |
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6. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything?
By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 |  |
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7. | Q. Where does a fish keep his money? | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Q. Where does a fish keep his money
A. In the River Bank! |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 37 |  |
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8. | An Irish priest loved to fly fish..... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box
Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work.
The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon.
The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it.
With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon.
Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson."
God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 40 |  |
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9. | A guy rings his boss and says "I can | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..." |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 48 |  |
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10. | I was glad when one fish got away... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| I was glad when one fish got away.
There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us! |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 52 |  |
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