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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score | ||||||
1. | Q. Why are fish so smart? | Jokes Score: | 17095 | |||
Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools! | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 35 |  | |||
2. | An American investment banker was at the pier of . | Jokes Score: | 15598 | |||
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years." "But what then?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions?...Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 16 | | |||
3. | A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern ... | Jokes Score: | 15229 | |||
A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man responded. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH" "What fish?" the man asked. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 29 | | |||
4. | Liar, liar | Jokes Score: | 15088 | |||
A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long. The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit." The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that." Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern." | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 68 | | |||
5. | Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. ... | Jokes Score: | 15036 | |||
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 69 | | |||
6. | Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and | Jokes Score: | 14864 | |||
An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish. Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 23 | | |||
7. | One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A | Jokes Score: | 14813 | |||
One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!" Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years." | ||||||
Anonymous | 9th Apr 2003 | JokesID: 59 | | |||
8. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Score: | 14627 | |||
Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | | |||
9. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Score: | 14600 | |||
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 | | |||
10. | What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. . | Jokes Score: | 14538 | |||
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 53 | | |||
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