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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes

1.

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  1.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  1.9 Star



Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you ?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"Why's that?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. That's what she'd like for supper tonight."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 11

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2.

"Do you really believe your husband when he ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2 Star



"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.

"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.

"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"

"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 2

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3.

Q. Where do fish sleep?

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2 Star



Q. Where do fish sleep?

A. In a river bed



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 47

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4.

An Irish priest loved to fly fish.....

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.1 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.1 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.1 Star



An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box

Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work.

The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon.

The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it.

With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon.

Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson."

God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 40

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5.

Q: Where do fish keep their money?

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.2 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.2 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.2 Star



Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In the river bank.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 8

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6.

Two morons rent a boat and go fishing.They ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



Two morons rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.

1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.

2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.

1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 9

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7.

Henry

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."

"But that's just what I did, mommy."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 12

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8.

A couple of young guys were fishing at their ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden.

After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.

With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 13

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9.

A man phones home from his office and tells his ..

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. Its the opportunity of a lifetime and we leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in and hour to pick them up."

He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.

A week later he returns.

His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?."

He says "Oh yes it was great. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 20

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10.

Two Irishmen were walking down the street ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.

Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"

Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!

So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".

Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"

Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............

No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 21

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