The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes
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1. | "Do you really believe your husband when he ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"
"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 2 | |
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2. | What is the difference between a catfish and a ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish! |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 10 | |
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3. | Henry | Jokes Rating: | |
| Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.
"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."
"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."
"But that's just what I did, mommy." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 12 | |
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4. | A couple of young guys were fishing at their ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden.
After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.
"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.
With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.
"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 13 | |
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5. | Two Irishmen were walking down the street ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"
Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"
Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............
No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 21 | |
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6. | A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in . | Jokes Rating: | |
| A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 28 | |
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7. | One day while driving home from his fishing trip . | Jokes Rating: | |
| One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery
A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips.
He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?"
"No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk." |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 30 | |
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8. | What is the definition of a | Jokes Rating: | |
| What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb'
- A temporary hook holder
What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'?
- The insecure connection between your fly hook and your
fishing line
What is the definition of a 'live bait'?
- The biggest fish you will handle all day
What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'?
- A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but
quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb
What is the definition of an 'Angler'?
- An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling
down due to neglect |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 38 | |
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9. | How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out?
I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there. |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 39 | |
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10. | The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation.
"Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men".
Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..." |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 44 | |
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