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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by most recent jokes

11.

Liar, liar

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 Star



A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.

The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."

The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that."

Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern."



Shark

7th Nov 2003

JokesID: 68

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12.

Slow Down!

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A cop pulls a guy over for speeding and the guy's defence was, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."

The Cop's response... "Ever go fishing?"

"Yeah...."

"Ever catch ALL the fish?"



Joe

2nd Nov 2003

JokesID: 66

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13.

One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 Star



One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.

Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"

Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."



Anonymous

9th Apr 2003

JokesID: 59

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14.

The Deserted Fisherman.

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



The Deserted Fisherman.

There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.

When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.

He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you."

The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down.

"Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?"

The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 57

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15.

The Fishing season hasn

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"

"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts.

"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.

"Nope."

"Well, meet the new game warden."

"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"Nope".

"Meet the biggest liar in the state."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 56

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16.

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ...

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 55

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17.

The manager of a small business and his secretary

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.

He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?

The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 54

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18.

What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. .

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.9 Star



What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 53

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19.

I was glad when one fish got away...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



I was glad when one fish got away.

There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 52

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20.

"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." ...

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week."

"Were there any witnesses?"

"There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 51

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