The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
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11. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 |  |
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12. | Liar, liar | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.
The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."
The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that."
Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern." |
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| Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 68 |  |
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13. | Taxidermist | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles.
He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?"
The man replied "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that."
The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish."
With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us". |
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| Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 70 |  |
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14. | A blonde decides to go fishing.... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A blonde decides to go fishing.
She stopped fishing when she caught a huge one. She was already too tired to carry it. |
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| Anymous | 12th Feb 2004 | JokesID: 84 |  |
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15. | Cart Fishing | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Two fishermen were talking about the good old days....
One says, "when I was a kid there were so many fish here I could always catch a few."
The other says, "when I was a kid here we used a horse and cart and got enough fish to sell at the market."
"How did you do that then?"
"Well, we had this good old horse and we used to back the cart down into the water and put treacle on his tail. The flies got stuck in the treacle and when the fish jumped out of the water for the flies that good old horse just kicked them into the cart. We had a load of fish in no time!" |
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| Anonymous | 20th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 77 |  |
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16. | Fish trap | Jokes Rating: |    
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| This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.
An Inspector steps out of the bushes, "Ahha!" he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled "Shiiiit!". The Inspector, who wasn't expecting such a response said "Settle down, I'm the Fishing Inspector". "Thank God for that" said the fisherman, "I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap". |
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| Leatherpot | 10th Dec 2003 | JokesID: 78 |  |
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17. | "Do you really believe your husband when he ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"
"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 2 |  |
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18. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Rating: |    
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| One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 |  |
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19. | A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 4 |  |
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20. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall
A. "Dam!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 |  |
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