The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
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11. | Cart Fishing | Jokes Rating: | |
| Two fishermen were talking about the good old days....
One says, "when I was a kid there were so many fish here I could always catch a few."
The other says, "when I was a kid here we used a horse and cart and got enough fish to sell at the market."
"How did you do that then?"
"Well, we had this good old horse and we used to back the cart down into the water and put treacle on his tail. The flies got stuck in the treacle and when the fish jumped out of the water for the flies that good old horse just kicked them into the cart. We had a load of fish in no time!" |
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| Anonymous | 20th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 77 | |
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12. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Rating: | |
| One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 | |
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13. | A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 4 | |
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14. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Rating: | |
| Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall
A. "Dam!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 | |
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15. | I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago She said ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing."
Gee I miss her. |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 6 | |
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16. | It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out .. | Jokes Rating: | |
| It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite
He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck.
Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer.
"Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?"
The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."
"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."
The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 7 | |
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17. | Q: Where do fish keep their money? | Jokes Rating: | |
| Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank. |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 8 | |
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18. | Two morons rent a boat and go fishing.They ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| Two morons rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.
1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.
2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.
1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat? |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 9 | |
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19. | Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting | Jokes Rating: | |
| Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you ?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."
"Why's that?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. That's what she'd like for supper tonight." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 11 | |
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20. | I didn't see you in church last Sunday ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| "I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."
"That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 14 | |
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