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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | <<< Previous | Next >>> | Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
| 11. | Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river . | Jokes Rating: | |
| Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.
"But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river."
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 25 | |
| 12. | Q. Why are fish so smart? | Jokes Rating: | |
| Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools! |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 35 | |
| 13. | A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious.
The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH"
"What fish?" the man asked. |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 29 | |
| 14. | Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman . | Jokes Rating: | |
| Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful. |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 31 | |
| 15. | I think the only reason my husband likes to go ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!" |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 33 | |
| 16. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Rating: | |
| Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything?
By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | |
| 17. | An Irish priest loved to fly fish..... | Jokes Rating: | |
| An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box
Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work.
The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon.
The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it.
With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon.
Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson."
God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 40 | |
| 18. | A guy rings his boss and says "I can | Jokes Rating: | |
| A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..." |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 48 | |
| 19. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Rating: | |
| Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!"
"That bad, huh"
"She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | |
| 20. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 | |
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