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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score

11.

What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. .

Jokes Score:

12596  



What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 53

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12.

Heard the one about the three blondes that went ..

Jokes Score:

12577  



Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything?

By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 36

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13.

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in .

Jokes Score:

12491  



A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 28

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14.

A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as

Jokes Score:

12434  



A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00".

The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"

"Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 49

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15.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go ...

Jokes Score:

12315  



I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 33

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16.

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ...

Jokes Score:

12218  



A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 4

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17.

The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ...

Jokes Score:

12201  



The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman...



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 22

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18.

Which fish can perform operations ?

Jokes Score:

12184  



Q. Which fish can perform operations?

A. A Sturgeon !



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 27

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19.

The Fishing season hasn

Jokes Score:

12140  



The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"

"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts.

"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.

"Nope."

"Well, meet the new game warden."

"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"Nope".

"Meet the biggest liar in the state."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 56

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20.

Why fishing is better than making love:

Jokes Score:

12100  



Why fishing is better than making love

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 17

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