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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes

11.

I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago She said ...

Jokes Votes:

3313  



I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing."

Gee I miss her.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 6

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12.

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled

Jokes Votes:

3291  



One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"

"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 3

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13.

"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." ...

Jokes Votes:

3281  



"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week."

"Were there any witnesses?"

"There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 51

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14.

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in .

Jokes Votes:

3258  



A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 28

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15.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go ...

Jokes Votes:

3226  



I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 33

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16.

Which fish can perform operations ?

Jokes Votes:

3222  



Q. Which fish can perform operations?

A. A Sturgeon !



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 27

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17.

A guy rings his boss and says "I can

Jokes Votes:

3188  



A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today

The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."

"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.

"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 48

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18.

What is the difference between a catfish and a ...

Jokes Votes:

3168  



What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 10

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19.

The Fishing season hasn

Jokes Votes:

3135  



The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"

"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts.

"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.

"Nope."

"Well, meet the new game warden."

"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"Nope".

"Meet the biggest liar in the state."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 56

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20.

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ...

Jokes Votes:

3126  



A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 4

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