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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes | ||||||
11. | I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago She said ... | Jokes Votes: | 4905 | |||
I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing." Gee I miss her. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 6 |  | |||
12. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Votes: | 4899 | |||
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 | | |||
13. | "I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." ... | Jokes Votes: | 4898 | |||
"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 51 | | |||
14. | Which fish can perform operations ? | Jokes Votes: | 4869 | |||
Q. Which fish can perform operations? A. A Sturgeon ! | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 27 | | |||
15. | A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in . | Jokes Votes: | 4846 | |||
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 28 | | |||
16. | The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ... | Jokes Votes: | 4838 | |||
The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman... | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 22 | | |||
17. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Votes: | 4815 | |||
Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | | |||
18. | Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish .. | Jokes Votes: | 4732 | |||
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 24 | | |||
19. | "Three Men And A Baby" | Jokes Votes: | 4729 | |||
"Three Men And A Baby" What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything! | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 32 | | |||
20. | A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as | Jokes Votes: | 4728 | |||
A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00". The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 49 | | |||
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