The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet !
Showing 21-30 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as
A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00".
The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?"
"Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
29th Jan 2003
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.
"Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
29th Jan 2003
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. .
What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
29th Jan 2003
One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A
One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years."
9th Apr 2003
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. ...
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7th Nov 2003
Two fishermen were talking about the good old days....
One says, "when I was a kid there were so many fish here I could always catch a few."
The other says, "when I was a kid here we used a horse and cart and got enough fish to sell at the market."
"How did you do that then?"
"Well, we had this good old horse and we used to back the cart down into the water and put treacle on his tail. The flies got stuck in the treacle and when the fish jumped out of the water for the flies that good old horse just kicked them into the cart. We had a load of fish in no time!"
20th Nov 2003
This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.
An Inspector steps out of the bushes, "Ahha!" he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled "Shiiiit!". The Inspector, who wasn't expecting such a response said "Settle down, I'm the Fishing Inspector". "Thank God for that" said the fisherman, "I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap".
10th Dec 2003
There were these two men fishing. one was ...
There were two men fishing on the river one day. One was catching all these fish and the other wasn't catching anything.
The man not catching any fish walked over and asked what the other guy was using for bait.
The fisherman reeled in his bait and said "river otter."
22nd Mar 2004
No one in this town could catch any fish except ..
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man
The game warden asked him how he did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day...
Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish.
The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk?"
16th Dec 2002
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
16th Dec 2002
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