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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 21-30 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score | ||||||
21. | What is the difference between a catfish and a ... | Jokes Score: | 8868 | |||
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish! | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 10 |  | |||
22. | The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ... | Jokes Score: | 8833 | |||
The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman... | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 22 | | |||
23. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Score: | 8786 | |||
Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 | | |||
24. | The Fishing season hasn | Jokes Score: | 8781 | |||
The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 56 | | |||
25. | Why fishing is better than making love: | Jokes Score: | 8711 | |||
Why fishing is better than making love * When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good - If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. - And don't want to know how many other fish you caught. * In fishing you lie about the one that got away. - In loving you lie about the one you caught. * You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go. * You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish. * You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. - If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum. * Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 17 | | |||
26. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Score: | 8588 | |||
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | | |||
27. | "Three Men And A Baby" | Jokes Score: | 8584 | |||
"Three Men And A Baby" What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything! | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 32 | | |||
28. | Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish .. | Jokes Score: | 8562 | |||
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 24 | | |||
29. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Score: | 8528 | |||
A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask." The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 | | |||
30. | I didn't see you in church last Sunday ... | Jokes Score: | 8502 | |||
"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 14 | | |||
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