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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 21-30 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes | ||||||
21. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Votes: | 3116 | |||
Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall A. "Dam!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 |  | |||
22. | The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ... | Jokes Votes: | 3111 | |||
The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman... | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 22 | | |||
23. | Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish .. | Jokes Votes: | 3073 | |||
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 24 | | |||
24. | How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ... | Jokes Votes: | 3068 | |||
How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 39 | | |||
25. | Why fishing is better than making love: | Jokes Votes: | 3053 | |||
Why fishing is better than making love * When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good - If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. - And don't want to know how many other fish you caught. * In fishing you lie about the one that got away. - In loving you lie about the one you caught. * You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go. * You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish. * You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. - If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum. * Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 17 | | |||
26. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Votes: | 3047 | |||
Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 | | |||
27. | A couple of young guys were fishing at their ... | Jokes Votes: | 3043 | |||
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 13 | | |||
28. | Henry | Jokes Votes: | 3042 | |||
Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. "Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 12 | | |||
29. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Votes: | 3042 | |||
Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | | |||
30. | Two Irishmen were walking down the street ... | Jokes Votes: | 3028 | |||
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?" Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy". Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!" Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............ No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 21 | | |||
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