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Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score

31.

I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me,

Jokes Score:

11783  



Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!"

"That bad, huh"

"She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 41

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32.

Two Irishmen were walking down the street ...

Jokes Score:

11717  



Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.

Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"

Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!

So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".

Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"

Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............

No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 21

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33.

How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ...

Jokes Score:

11714  



How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out?

I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 39

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34.

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river .

Jokes Score:

11690  



Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 25

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35.

Q. What is the difference between a fish and a ...

Jokes Score:

11652  



Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?

A. You can't tuna fish.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 42

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36.

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ...

Jokes Score:

11650  



A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 55

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37.

Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman .

Jokes Score:

11635  



Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.

Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.

Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 31

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38.

Slow Down!

Jokes Score:

11613  



A cop pulls a guy over for speeding and the guy's defence was, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."

The Cop's response... "Ever go fishing?"

"Yeah...."

"Ever catch ALL the fish?"



Joe

2nd Nov 2003

JokesID: 66

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39.

Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the .

Jokes Score:

11560  



Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

"Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 45

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40.

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens

Jokes Score:

11460  



A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...

"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.

"Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...

Great!...

Thanks...

Okay...

Bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 50

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