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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score | ||||||
31. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Score: | 15834 | |||
Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 |  | |||
32. | A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as | Jokes Score: | 15804 | |||
A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00". The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 49 | | |||
33. | A couple of young guys were fishing at their ... | Jokes Score: | 15774 | |||
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 13 | | |||
34. | I didn't see you in church last Sunday ... | Jokes Score: | 15719 | |||
"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 14 | | |||
35. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Score: | 15663 | |||
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | | |||
36. | How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ... | Jokes Score: | 15641 | |||
How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 39 | | |||
37. | Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were ... | Jokes Score: | 15618 | |||
Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back." The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked "What are you doing?" The second blonde replied "Marking the spot." "Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 19 | | |||
38. | Two Irishmen were walking down the street ... | Jokes Score: | 15515 | |||
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?" Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy". Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!" Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............ No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 21 | | |||
39. | Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ... | Jokes Score: | 15399 | |||
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? " | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 18 | | |||
40. | Slow Down! | Jokes Score: | 15391 | |||
A cop pulls a guy over for speeding and the guy's defence was, "I was just going with the flow of traffic." The Cop's response... "Ever go fishing?" "Yeah...." "Ever catch ALL the fish?" | ||||||
Joe | 2nd Nov 2003 | JokesID: 66 | | |||
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