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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes | ||||||
31. | How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ... | Jokes Votes: | 4608 | |||
How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 39 |  | |||
32. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Votes: | 4607 | |||
Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall A. "Dam!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 | | |||
33. | The manager of a small business and his secretary | Jokes Votes: | 4587 | |||
The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home. When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening? The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon. His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 54 | | |||
34. | Two Irishmen were walking down the street ... | Jokes Votes: | 4578 | |||
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms. Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?" Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing! So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy". Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!" Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............ No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 21 | | |||
35. | Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were ... | Jokes Votes: | 4556 | |||
Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back." The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked "What are you doing?" The second blonde replied "Marking the spot." "Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 19 | | |||
36. | I didn't see you in church last Sunday ... | Jokes Votes: | 4554 | |||
"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 14 | | |||
37. | Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the . | Jokes Votes: | 4509 | |||
Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?" "Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 45 | | |||
38. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Votes: | 4505 | |||
Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 | | |||
39. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Votes: | 4489 | |||
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | | |||
40. | Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman . | Jokes Votes: | 4471 | |||
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 31 | | |||
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