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Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes

31.

I didn't see you in church last Sunday ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."

"That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 14

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32.

Why fishing is better than making love:

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Why fishing is better than making love

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 17

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33.

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.

The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait.

After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water.

After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom.

The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 18

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34.

Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish.

The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back."

The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat.

The first blonde asked "What are you doing?"

The second blonde replied "Marking the spot."

"Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 19

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35.

The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid

Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman...



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 22

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36.

Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 23

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37.

Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish ..

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 24

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38.

"What

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"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"

"That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."

"That's not so big!"

"Between the eyes?"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 26

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39.

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in .

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 28

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40.

Which fish can perform operations ?

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Q. Which fish can perform operations?

A. A Sturgeon !



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 27

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