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Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes

31.

I was glad when one fish got away...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



I was glad when one fish got away.

There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 52

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32.

The manager of a small business and his secretary

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.

He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?

The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 54

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33.

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 55

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34.

The Deserted Fisherman.

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



The Deserted Fisherman.

There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.

When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.

He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you."

The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down.

"Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?"

The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 57

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35.

Slow Down!

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A cop pulls a guy over for speeding and the guy's defence was, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."

The Cop's response... "Ever go fishing?"

"Yeah...."

"Ever catch ALL the fish?"



Joe

2nd Nov 2003

JokesID: 66

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36.

Taxidermist

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles.

He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?"

The man replied "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that."

The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish."

With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us".



Shark

7th Nov 2003

JokesID: 70

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37.

Scientist

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



What do fish and women have in common?

They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them !



Anonymous

20th Mar 2004

JokesID: 88

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38.

Live bait

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A local fisherman returning from a fishing trip with 6 large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yer!" replied our stalwart. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Nosey asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and our man replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with but of my rod!" Needless to say there were no more questions.



MDC

16th May 2004

JokesID: 93

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39.

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 4

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40.

Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete ..

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall

A. "Dam!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 5

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