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Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes

31.

One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled

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One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."

He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."

He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"

"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 3

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32.

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.

"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."

As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 4

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33.

Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete ..

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Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall

A. "Dam!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 5

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34.

I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago She said ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago. She said "it's me or your fishing."

Gee I miss her.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 6

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35.

It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out ..

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite

He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck.

Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer.

"Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?"

The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."

"What was that?" the old man asked.

Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."

"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."

The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 7

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36.

Q: Where do fish keep their money?

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In the river bank.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 8

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37.

I didn't see you in church last Sunday ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."

"That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 14

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38.

Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women:

Boats only need their fluids changed every year.

Boats curves never sag.

Boats last longer.

Boats don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Boat any time of the month.

Boats don't have parents.

Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can share your Boat with your friends.

If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn.

If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have.

Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.

If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Boat.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat.

You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals.

If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.

Boats always feel like going for a ride.

Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.

Boats don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.

If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 15

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39.

An American investment banker was at the pier of .

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.8 Star



An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 16

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40.

Why fishing is better than making love:

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Why fishing is better than making love

* When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good
- If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

* Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither.
- And don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

* In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
- In loving you lie about the one you caught.

* You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

* You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish.

* You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid.
- If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

* Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 17

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