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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes | ||||||
31. | An American investment banker was at the pier of . | Jokes Rating: |
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An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years." "But what then?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions?...Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 16 |  | |||
32. | Why fishing is better than making love: | Jokes Rating: |
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Why fishing is better than making love * When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good - If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. - And don't want to know how many other fish you caught. * In fishing you lie about the one that got away. - In loving you lie about the one you caught. * You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go. * You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish. * You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. - If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum. * Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 17 | | |||
33. | Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were ... | Jokes Rating: |
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Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish. The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back." The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat. The first blonde asked "What are you doing?" The second blonde replied "Marking the spot." "Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 19 | | |||
34. | The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ... | Jokes Rating: |
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The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare. Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman... | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 22 | | |||
35. | Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and | Jokes Rating: |
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An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish. Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 23 | | |||
36. | Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river . | Jokes Rating: |
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Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 25 | | |||
37. | A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in . | Jokes Rating: |
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A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 28 | | |||
38. | Which fish can perform operations ? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Which fish can perform operations? A. A Sturgeon ! | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 27 | | |||
39. | Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman . | Jokes Rating: |
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 31 | | |||
40. | "Three Men And A Baby" | Jokes Rating: |
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"Three Men And A Baby" What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything! | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 32 | | |||
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