The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
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41. | Two Irishmen were walking down the street ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"
Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"
Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............
No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 21 | |
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42. | The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| The Three Fishermen and the Mermaid
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare.
Then the second fisherman said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.
The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his I.Q and the mermaid said "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!" the fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman... |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 22 | |
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43. | Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and | Jokes Rating: | |
| An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.
Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!
Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!
Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 23 | |
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44. | Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish .. | Jokes Rating: | |
| Mother to daughter advice:
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 24 | |
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45. | A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in . | Jokes Rating: | |
| A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 28 | |
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46. | Which fish can perform operations ? | Jokes Rating: | |
| Q. Which fish can perform operations?
A. A Sturgeon ! |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 27 | |
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47. | One day while driving home from his fishing trip . | Jokes Rating: | |
| One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery
A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips.
He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?"
"No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk." |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 30 | |
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48. | "Three Men And A Baby" | Jokes Rating: | |
| "Three Men And A Baby"
What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything! |
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| Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 32 | |
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49. | What is the definition of a | Jokes Rating: | |
| What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb'
- A temporary hook holder
What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'?
- The insecure connection between your fly hook and your
fishing line
What is the definition of a 'live bait'?
- The biggest fish you will handle all day
What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'?
- A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but
quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb
What is the definition of an 'Angler'?
- An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling
down due to neglect |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 38 | |
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50. | How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate ... | Jokes Rating: | |
| How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out?
I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there. |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 39 | |
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