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Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating

41.

What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. .

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 53

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42.

The manager of a small business and his secretary

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.

He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?

The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 54

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43.

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ...

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 55

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44.

Scientist

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



What do fish and women have in common?

They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them !



Anonymous

20th Mar 2004

JokesID: 88

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45.

Live bait

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.7 Star



A local fisherman returning from a fishing trip with 6 large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yer!" replied our stalwart. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Nosey asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and our man replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with but of my rod!" Needless to say there were no more questions.



MDC

16th May 2004

JokesID: 93

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46.

Two morons rent a boat and go fishing.They ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



Two morons rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.

1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.

2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.

1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 9

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47.

What is the difference between a catfish and a ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 10

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48.

Henry

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."

"But that's just what I did, mommy."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 12

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49.

A couple of young guys were fishing at their ...

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Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden.

After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.

With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 13

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50.

A man phones home from his office and tells his ..

Jokes Rating:

Fishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 StarFishing Jokes Rating:  2.6 Star



A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. Its the opportunity of a lifetime and we leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in and hour to pick them up."

He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.

A week later he returns.

His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?."

He says "Oh yes it was great. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 20

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