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Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes

41.

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river .

Jokes Votes:

1822  



Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 25

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42.

I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me,

Jokes Votes:

1820  



Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!"

"That bad, huh"

"She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 41

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43.

Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the .

Jokes Votes:

1818  



Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

"Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 45

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44.

The Deserted Fisherman.

Jokes Votes:

1816  



The Deserted Fisherman.

There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.

When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.

He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you."

The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down.

"Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?"

The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 57

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45.

I didn't see you in church last Sunday ...

Jokes Votes:

1814  



"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."

"That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 14

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46.

Heard the one about the three blondes that went ..

Jokes Votes:

1810  



Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything?

By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 36

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47.

I got a new fly rod and reel for my ...

Jokes Votes:

1810  



I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife...

...best trade I ever made.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 46

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48.

The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ...

Jokes Votes:

1787  



The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation.

"Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men".

Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 44

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49.

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens

Jokes Votes:

1777  



A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...

"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.

"Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...

Great!...

Thanks...

Okay...

Bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 50

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50.

The manager of a small business and his secretary

Jokes Votes:

1772  



The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.

He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?

The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 54

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