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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes | ||||||
41. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Votes: | 2758 | |||
A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask." The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 |  | |||
42. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Votes: | 2745 | |||
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | | |||
43. | One day while driving home from his fishing trip . | Jokes Votes: | 2731 | |||
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk." | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 30 | | |||
44. | Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river . | Jokes Votes: | 2709 | |||
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 25 | | |||
45. | The Deserted Fisherman. | Jokes Votes: | 2686 | |||
The Deserted Fisherman. There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find. When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around. He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you." The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down. "Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?" The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 57 | | |||
46. | A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens | Jokes Votes: | 2679 | |||
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation... "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice. "Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific... Great!... Thanks... Okay... Bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 50 | | |||
47. | The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ... | Jokes Votes: | 2671 | |||
The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation. "Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men". Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 44 | | |||
48. | The manager of a small business and his secretary | Jokes Votes: | 2670 | |||
The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home. When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening? The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon. His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 54 | | |||
49. | Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ... | Jokes Votes: | 2625 | |||
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? " | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 18 | | |||
50. | I got a new fly rod and reel for my ... | Jokes Votes: | 2624 | |||
I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife... ...best trade I ever made. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 46 | | |||
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