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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes | ||||||
41. | The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ... | Jokes Rating: |
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The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation. "Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men". Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 44 |  | |||
42. | Q. Where do fish sleep? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 47 | | |||
43. | A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as | Jokes Rating: |
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A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only $20.00". The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, but the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 49 | | |||
44. | A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens | Jokes Rating: |
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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation... "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice. "Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific... Great!... Thanks... Okay... Bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 50 | | |||
45. | What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain?. . | Jokes Rating: |
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What do you call a deaf fishing boat captain? Anything you like, he can't hear you. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 53 | | |||
46. | The manager of a small business and his secretary | Jokes Rating: |
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The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home. When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening? The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon. His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 54 | | |||
47. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Rating: |
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A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask." The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 | | |||
48. | The Fishing season hasn | Jokes Rating: |
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The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 56 | | |||
49. | The Deserted Fisherman. | Jokes Rating: |
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The Deserted Fisherman. There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find. When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around. He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you." The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down. "Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?" The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 57 | | |||
50. | One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A | Jokes Rating: |
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One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by. Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!" Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years." | ||||||
Anonymous | 9th Apr 2003 | JokesID: 59 | | |||
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