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Showing 51-60 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score


Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish ..

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Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.


16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 24

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I got a new fly rod and reel for my ...

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I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife... trade I ever made.


29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 46

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What is the definition of a

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What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb'

- A temporary hook holder

What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'?

- The insecure connection between your fly hook and your
fishing line

What is the definition of a 'live bait'?

- The biggest fish you will handle all day

What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'?

- A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but
quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb

What is the definition of an 'Angler'?

- An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling
down due to neglect


29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 38

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A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles.

He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?"

The man replied "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that."

The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish."

With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us".


7th Nov 2003

JokesID: 70

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A relaxed view of life.....

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I only fish on dem derre days that ind wit -day.


19th Nov 2003

JokesID: 71

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What is the fastest fish in the water?

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Q. What is the fastest fish in the water?

A. A motopike

Gooooo away

20th Nov 2003

JokesID: 72

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Cart Fishing

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Two fishermen were talking about the good old days....

One says, "when I was a kid there were so many fish here I could always catch a few."

The other says, "when I was a kid here we used a horse and cart and got enough fish to sell at the market."

"How did you do that then?"

"Well, we had this good old horse and we used to back the cart down into the water and put treacle on his tail. The flies got stuck in the treacle and when the fish jumped out of the water for the flies that good old horse just kicked them into the cart. We had a load of fish in no time!"


20th Nov 2003

JokesID: 77

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Fish trap

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This fisherman goes to the river to check an illegal fish trap that he owns. He looks around to make sure there are no Fishing Inspectors about and proceeds to pull the fish trap out to check it.

An Inspector steps out of the bushes, "Ahha!" he said and the fisherman spun around and yelled "Shiiiit!". The Inspector, who wasn't expecting such a response said "Settle down, I'm the Fishing Inspector". "Thank God for that" said the fisherman, "I thought you were the bugger who owned this fish trap".


10th Dec 2003

JokesID: 78

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Q: Where do fish keep their money?

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Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: In the river bank.


16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 8

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An Irish priest loved to fly fish.....

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An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box

Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work.

The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon.

The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it.

With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon.

Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson."

God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?"


29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 40

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